Monday, October 15, 2012

In AWE of God

"Let all the earth hear the Lord; Let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him" Psalm 33:8

There are times in life were I have the AWE moments of God. It could be because of a conversation with someone, a song, sitting on the beach or a scripture that touched the core of me. These are moments that I treasure. These are moments that I am amazed just how BIG of a God I serve and how small I am.

One of the weekends when I was in Colorado, a group of us went to Pikes Peak. That day is a day that I will never forget. It is one of my top 5 best days ever!  Not because of the people that I went with (they are amazing by the way!) or that the drive was amazing, it was because God showed me another side of him that touched my core.

I had just finished my second week of training at MTI which was a hard week for me. God had did some major work on my heart that week. Broke down walls that I had up, showed me that it is ok to grieve over the pain and hurt from this summer's trails with loved ones and open my eyes to how important the Sabbath is. On top of all that, I had pulled my lower back muscle and had been in pain the whole week and it wasn't getting better. I was physically, spiritually and emotionally tired and was looking forward to the weekend.

We had decided to go to Pikes Peak on a Sunday after church. The peak was cold, windy and just gorgeous. It took my breath away being up 14,000 ft and seeing for miles in the distance. It was also scary being that high, knowing that if you got to close to the cliff and took a wrong step, you would fall off the peak.

That whole day I kept quoting Phil 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." because I was in so much back pain. It hurt to walk, sit and stand. But even then, God still showed me his beauty. As I stood there looking out I was reminded of Genesis 1:9-12, "Then God said, 'Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear; and it was so. God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good. Then God said, 'let the earth sprout vegetation: plants yielding seed and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good." As I stood looking  down at the birds and seeing the beauty of the rookies, I was just in AWE. In AWE of a creator that created this place that was good. In AWE of the One who has the power to move mountains, give comfort and give rest. In AWE of the One who gave His Son to die for a simple person like me.

I saw God's beauty in the colors of the trees below me and in the lake I could see in the distance. I saw His strength in the mountains around me. I saw His cleansing in the grey clouds that were above us and in the distance filled with rain. Everywhere I looked, I saw God. And in that moment I realized I saw Him, but what about those around me, did they see God and all His glory? Did they stand here and have their AWE moments of God? Did they stand here and realized that God made this for them too?

I left Pikes Peak with mix emotions because I saw God's beauty but others didnt and others wont and that sadden my heart. I realized on the way back to MTI, that going to Costa Rica wasnt just about meeting new people, changing lives and helping others. It is about much more then that. It is about showing them how much the God I serve loves them. It is about giving them AWE moments to experience God and His fullness. I want them to experience God's love the way that I do, with all its joy, hope and beauty that He brings to everyone who believes in him. This is why God wants me to go to Costa Rica, to show the high school girls there that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14) by the Creator. That no matter what society, family, boyfriends think of them, God loves each and everyone of them for He made them! That is my prayer, that God will use me there to show this young beautiful ladies all these things.

As I write this blog my heart breaks for those who dont know God. To live a life with no hope, no joy, no true love is sad. I want everyone to see and experience God the way that I did on that mountain. To experience his fullness and see his beauty, but I know that there are some that will never know Him and His love and I mourn for them. I pray that God will break our hearts, will continue to break my heart for those who do not know Him. That we as a body of believers will pray for them, that God will touch their lives. I pray that we wont forgot the cross and what Jesus died for.

I saw a lot of things that day. I saw God's strength, love and beauty. I saw a group of believers deepening friendships, united with the simple call to go and make disciples of all nations (Matt 28:19). I saw the birds fly below me because we were so high up. But what sticks out in my mind is that I had an experience of AWE that day of the God who created the heavens and the earth.

Monday, October 8, 2012

MTI Week 2 and 3

Week 2 and 3 went so fast. There are so many things that I have learned and would love to share, but that would take about a week to write. So I wont bore you with the information but instead I will give you the highlights of those week and my last weekend there :)

Week 2 started off with the last session on conflict. I learn that most teams or people depart the mission field premature due to conflict with team member or the organization they are with. We also talked about stress and it was emphasis that the average missionary daily experiences 2 - 5 times as much stress as the average inner city cop. We had a hostage simulation that same week and debrief on how we handle the stress of it, the physical and emotional side of it too. Towards the end of the week we talked about transitions and the different stages that goes along with it. For me the best part was learning about the Sabbath. This section was on the following day of the simulation, so it was nice to sit and rest. The first part of the morning we went in our growth group and talked about why keeping sabbath was hard for us. From there we were on our own to read scripture and answer questions in our binder. After lunch there was more scripture to read on our own but there was time to play with God. That was the thing that really got to me, that God wanted to play with us as well as sit with us. For some of the people that was a hard concept but for others it was easy. For me, I realize that I play with God with I am outside enjoying God's creation and painting. For others in the training it was simply coloring, walking, taking a nap or even going to Target. I also realize just how important the Sabbath is. It is not to just a "day off" from life but it is to stop and rest in God. To stop and listen and even lay down your burdens to God. This is something that I want to do more of in my life and something that I have realized that I need to here in Fresno and in Costa Rica. 

Since it was our last weekend in Colorado, we decided to rent a car and go to Denver and Pikes Peak.  Denver is a cool place. We went to 16th Street mall and had sushi there. But Pikes Peak was simply amazing. It was so breath taking and gorgeous. I will blog about that on another day. 


(Pikes Peak)

Week 3 was the most emotional week for me. There had been some stuff with my family that had happen over the summer that I had needed to process and deal with that I had been putting off. But here I was in Colorado and in a since I was forced to deal with it. And I did and it was hard. We had a session that I call Cry-feast (it was called Grief and Loss) and it was a time for us to really process what we are leaving behind here in the states. Family, kids, grand kids, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. It was also a time for us to deal with things that we didnt want to or couldnt. For me it was a time to deal with the hurt and pain from this summer and lay it down at the foot of the cross. It was a time to truly start the healing process. After that session, I felt free and so much peace and comfort. 
The rest of the week we talked about MK and TCK (ministry kids, third culture kids), Goodbye's and Hello's and then we prayed over everyone. 

Now I have been home for about a week and today was the first day that it hit me that I am back in Fresno. Today was my Yuck Duck day. I miss my new friends, the community, and the understanding of missions we all had. I miss the encouragement and support from each other. I miss the Rockies and the cool weather. I know that I am back in Fresno for a reason and I am thankful for the time I had at MTI. This was an experience that I will always remember. I have already been looking back at my binder and notes trying to not forget everything that I have learned. 

So what is next???
Well I am still raising support for Costa Rica. This month I will be meeting with Life groups and anyone who wants to hear about Costa Rica and what I will be doing there. I will be doing some fundraisers through The Well for my cost to move there but I still need people to support me on a monthly basis.
 Here is the link to donate online and any little thing helps and it is considered a tax donation. Also if you would like to receive newsletters or want to meet up for coffee, please email me at ( Also if you want to know more about what Yuck duck means and MTI, email me and I would love to sit and tell you more about it :)