It's not always rainbows and butterflies....

It's been awhile since my last blog post.

I just really haven't wanted to write about what is going on here. I dont know about other missionaries, but I feel the pressure of always having to write about all the "good things" that I am doing here. But honesty, being a missionary in a different country is not always rainbows and butterflies. Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of good thing that are going on here in CR. But with the good comes the bad/hard stuff too. 

For the majority of you reading this, you will never experience some of these challenges. But some of you will completely understand what I am talking about.

You see living cross-culturally is a daily thing for me. I am learning new things everyday about Costa Rica. Even though I have been living here for almost 2 years, that doesnt mean that I am an expert on everything Costa Rica.  Everyday I am learning how to adapt my North American/Mexican ways to be a better student, a better learner of Costa Rica. Honestly, I think I do a pretty good job at not comparing US to CR, but were I find most of my conflicts is when my Mexican culture clashes with the CR culture. You would think that it would be opposite, that my Mexican culture would help me to adapt better to the CR culture, and for the most part it has, but there are still come cultural things that I struggle with. (like food, some spanish words, and some customs)

Then there are the everyday basic struggle that I never thought about till I moved here. For example, food. I am so used to having Mexican food as a staple for my meals. Meaning pinto beans and spanish rice. But what happens when the grocery store doesnt sale pinto beans? Or they run out of tomato sauce so you have to use tomato paste instead, or the chicken cost $10 for 2 chicken breast. Then there is the mail. I am lucky if I get the cards or the packages that people have sent. I would love to tell you that I have received everything that has been sent to me, but that is not true. Last year, my parents sent me a small package of birthday cards from the family, that I am still waiting to receive them. Driving here is like playing a video game. The goal is to get from point A to point B without hitting someone or you getting hit. Then you add in language. I am lucky that I came here knowing some spanish. I remember going to the language school and the director saying that I was and interesting case, since I could talk and understand spanish but could not read or write it. But that is more common for a 1st generation language learners. But CR Spanish is still different then Mexico Spanish and since it was not my first language, I still struggle with it everyday. It is worse when teams are here, because I am going back and forth from English to Spanish all day. I often will talk to a Tico (Costa Rican) in English and a North American in Spanish during our team season.

Some of the bigger things are more of the relational aspects of living in a different country. I always thought I was more of a direct person then some of my friends in the U.S. But moving here, I have realized that the majority of all North Americans are direct. If we have a problem with someone, usually we go to them to clear it up. Or if we make a coffee date or a lunch date, we dont miss it unless an emergency comes up. We wouldn't even think about being late to work, or yet leaving early from it. CR is known for being a country of peace. Conflict is not direct here but instead brought to your attention through another people(s). Coffee dates/Lunch dates are not really happening until you confirm with that person the day before or day of and if you are late to it, that is ok. ( I mean you can be up to an hour late and still be ok). Everyday, I am learning to let go more and more of my North American ways to be more and more sensitive to the CR culture, because the last thing I want to do is offend someone and be a hindrance to what God is doing here. (but it is hard at times)

Poverty is another issue that I see on a regular basis. The minimum wage for CR is 9,504.34 colones a day. Today (5/5/15) exchange rate is 527 = $1. That means that a person making minimum wage here makes $18.03 a day (9,504.34 / 527 = $18.034...) That means that they are making $1.80 an hour for a 10hr work day, $360 a month IF they work 5 days a week. Of course that is only the gross pay and not net, so they are bringing less home. Then you add up the rent, utilities and food, and you start to understand why families dont have a car, cell phone or take showers with hot water because it is all extra expenses that they dont have.

But the hardest thing for me, has been the loneliness that I feel sometimes. Being a single female living cross-culturally can be hard. Really hard. You dont have family nearby to hangout with on the weekends, birthdays or holidays. You miss your friends and church family. Skype and Facetime are amazing but you start to realize that they can only go so far. You "like" pictures on instagram or facebook because you want to be still apart of your friends world. And the reality is that I am still apart of their lives, but it is different now.  I have ate more dinners alone in the last 2 years, then in my entire life. And marriage seems like a distance hope, because the idea of dating cross-culturally seems like so much work when you are just trying to live cross-culturally.

So why did I just word vomit all this????

Trust me it is not to complain, even though some of you are thinking that is all I am doing. But I wanted to educate you.

Living cross-culturally is hard! It takes work, LOTS of prayer and LOTS of laying yourself down for the greater good! 

On a bad day, all of these things can make a person quit the ministry, pack up and leave the country. All of this adds so much stress to marriages and relationships. All of this can make a person so overwhelmed to the point of a mental, physical and spiritual break down. 

BUT on a good day (which are most), none of these things, none of these factor matter. On a good day, God reminds you why you are here. He gives you glimpses of the kingdom of heaven. He reminds that you are not forgotten. You see lives being changed in the communities you work in. You see children working on their homework and dreaming for the first time of what they want to be when they grow up. You see those around you, through God's eyes and not your own. And those are the best days!

So now what?

• Pray! Pray for those preaching the gospel. Pray for those who are living in a different country. Pray for us here in CR, pray for me! 

• Then after you pray, write them an encouraging email, a card or send a package. Let them know that they are not forgotten but are missed. 

• Send a team to work along side them for a week or two. I LOVE the fact that my sending churches sends teams to come and work alone side me every year. It is like having a little piece of home with me.

• If you are friends or families of those doing mission work in another country, GO VISIT THEM! We (missionaries) need a vacation too and the best vacations with friends who have come to visit me. Being able to have good conversations, laugh and see a different part of the country is so refreshing.

• And when we (missionaries) come home to visit family and friends, DO NOT be upset that you only got to spend a short time with them or didnt get to see them at all. Trust me there are so many people that we (missionaries) want to see, but family is priority. 

• Financially support them. We (missionaries) live off support and we are so blessed by those who give monthly or even yearly. And honesty we cant do what God is calling us to do without your support. It doesnt have to be much, but every little bit helps and it also encourages us as well. 

I promise the next post will be uplifting, I just wanted to share what was/has been on my heart. 

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If you are living overseas or cross-culturally or thinking about it, here are some of the blogs and books that I recommend.

Devotionals::
#shereadstruth: http://shereadstruth.com/
Beth Moore: Believing God: Day by Day
Max Lucado: On Calvary's Hill

Books:: 
Jennie Allen: Anything 
Francis Chan: Crazy Love
James Bryan Smith: The Good and Beautiful God 
David G. Benner: The Gift of Being Yourself 
David A. Livermore: Serving with Eyes Wide Open 
Brad Bell: Walking With A Limp
Dr. Rick Taylor: The Anatomy of a Disciple
Matt Chandler: To Live is Christ, To Die is Gain

Blogs I Follow: 
Melissa Danisi: http://melissadanisi.com/
Velvet Ashes: http://velvetashes.com/
A Life Overseas: /http://www.alifeoverseas.com/
Rocky Re-Entry: http://www.rockyreentry.com/
Self Talk the Gospel: http://selftalkthegospel.com/
Reaching for the Robe: http://www.reachingfortherobe.com/
The Steidingers: http://thesteidingers.com/
Myers Mission: http://myersfamilymissions.blogspot.com/

Weekend of Rest.....

Have you ever felt like you needed a vacation from the vacation that you were just on? Or gone out of the country for a mission trip and wished you had taken that extra day off or you just realized that you have worked 19 days straight and just need a break???

 R E S T

Such a simply word, such a simple thing that has so much benefits if you do it.

I didnt realize how important this word would be to me, until I moved to Costa Rica. You see when I lived in California, I would get caught up on the American norm of the busier you are, the better. I was always planning ahead, filling in my calendar with coffee dates and etc. I didnt want anyone to think I was" lazy" or " wasnt working hard enough because I had too much free time". So if I was tired, I would push through it.

But, once I moved here (CR) I realized just how important it is to REST. I mean truly putting aside work, social media, alarm clocks and anything else that you cant live without. And just sitting, hiking, reading, playing music or whatever else that helps you to unwind. I can probably count on my hand of how many times I have truly just rested. And honestly, those times of rest have been while I have been here in Costa Rica.

This last weekend, I was able to turn off my phone, turn off social media, and my life in Costa Rica. And I was able to focus on my relationship with God. For the last 2 months, I have been going and going. From my trip to California (which was a blessing) that was filled with seeing friends and family that I havent seen all year. To coming back to work and coming back to a busy month of cafecito with host families, welcoming semester students and preparing for the first team of the year. By the time January had ended, I was exhausted. And it was just the first month of 2015!

Since it was my first weekend off in about a month, I took advantage of it. I went to one of my favorite places in this country. All weekend long I sat, read my bible, listen to the new Bethel album, journal and read some more. I laughed with friends when we were hanging out or having dinner. And each night when the sun would go down I stood in AWE of God's art work. I prayed a lot about some big decisions I will soon need to make, and I prayed for all my friends who are also working and doing ministry in other countries.

And then I came back home.

I am thankful for sometime away. I know that this year will be a busy year for me and I need to remember that it is ok to stop and take of myself in the midst of the business. That as a follower of Christ, I am called to rest, to take a sabbath and focus on my Maker.

"So there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. For the one who has entered His rest has himself also rested from his works, as God did from His. Therefore let us be diligent to enter that rest, so that no one will fall, through following the same example of disobedience." Hebrews 4:9-11 

 P/S
This is my favorite song from the new Bethel Album We Will Not Be Shaken. Make sure you buy it if you haven't yet! It is SO GOOD!

Dear 2014......

Dear 2014,

I know that I am a few days late writing this to you, but my theory is, better late then never.
You see, I needed sometime to stop and think about all that you held for me this year. I just couldn't say good-bye right away. So here I am writing you a farewell letter.

Thank you 2014 for the good times and the hard times that you held. From celebrating a friends, to laughing so hard that I cried and for all the dances and singing that were done on the way to the beach. Thank you for making this year, a year of learning, seeking and understanding those around me but more about myself and my relationship with God. There were moments that I didn't want it to  end, moments were I couldn't believe I live here. Then there were moments were it seemed as though it couldn't end fast enough. I cried, laughed, felt joy, felt peace and was reminded of God's love.
There were dreams that I had hoped would come true this year, but never came. There were changes that were hard for me and fears that I had to overcome. There were days were life seemed so hard but through it all, I still had hope. Hope in what was to come and hope that through it all, God will continue to walk with me. Overall 2014, you were good!

Now that you are over, I now welcome 2015!
I welcome new dreams and old ones. I welcome the things to come and the things that I will learn. I know that there will be hard times, but I pray for more good times that the hard. I pray for strength when I need it, for love that abounds and for joy through it all!

Christmas Time is here.....

I will be in California this year for Christmas! 

I am really excited to spend time with family and friends this holiday season In Fresno :)  As much as I would LOVE to see you all and catch up on life, I have realized that there is not enough time. BUT there will be a few opportunities for you to hear about my life in Costa Rica and how God is using me here for His kingdom.

I will be at the following churches :) 

Sunday Dec 14th:: The Well Community Church North Campus. 9am, 11am, 5pm & 7pm.
Sunday Dec 28th:: The Well Community Church Fig Garden Campus 9am & 11am

And
The Well Kingsburg 5pm

I will be at each campus before and after each service and would love to see you there. :)  Plus I will have my new prayer cards and few other fun Costa Rica things there that you could take home!

I am so excited to be back in California but I am not excited for the cold weather. But most of all I am excited to celebrate the birth of Jesus with family this year! 

What's On Your Playlist?...

I love music!

You can take away my TV shows, you can take away coffee or even my Hot Tamales, but dont take away my music!

I tell people that you can tell what kind of mood I am in by the music that I am listening too.

The beauty about living in a different country that has good public transportation, is that almost everyone on the bus or is walking, has headphones on and are listening to music. (Or at least I think it is music) Since I am one of those lovely folks that walk, I am listening too more and more music each day.

So what is currently on my playlist???
(they are in no particular order and I will do my top 10) 

1. You Make Me Brave - Bethel Music

 

2. Evan Craft - Jovenes Somos

3. Brooke Fraser - Brutal Romance

 

4. The Fault Of Our Stars - Soundtrack

5. Clarity - Zedd

6. With Everything - The Well Community Church 

7. The Best Of Me - Soundtrack

8. 1989 - Taylor Swift

9. Hillsong United - Zion

10. Safe Haven - Soundtrack

(You can get each of these on iTunes) 
Keep in mind that these are just some of the albums that I have played in the last few days. I have a Road Mix 2014 playlist that has a LOT of singles on there from artists such as  Ace of Base to Eminem to anything else between. Trust me it is fun mix!

So what are some of the music that you are currently listening too?

Remember I love music so I would love to hear some of the artists that you are listening too!

Cooking for who?......

I don't know about you, but I really enjoy cooking!

 

I also really enjoy cooking for friends and family. Recently I had the chance to cook for some friends that were in Costa Rica. I was so excited to be able to make Mexican food. But I was more excited to be able to have people over and talk and just do life together.

Then I started thinking about the last time that I did something like that, cooked for a group of friends...

You see before I moved to Costa Rica, I would host game nights and cook for friends. There would be times that over 25 people would be over playing games, eating and enjoying each other company. It was a house filled with love and laughter and good food.  Lately I have been missing those days.

I have been living in Costa Rica now for about a year and a half. In the year and a half that I have lived here, I have cooked for friends (not family because none have come to visit me yet) probably about 3-5 times. That means that for the most of the year and a half, I have cooked for myself. A dinner for one. And that also means that I eaten by myself too.

Welcome to the life of a single living in another country.

Now don't get me wrong, there are times were I went out to dinner with friends. But that can get expensive real fast.

But the reality for a single person is that you make and eat a lot more times alone then with someone else. And honestly I am getting kind of tired of making a dinner for one.

I know that this is the season that I am in, a season where I am cooking for one. And I know that living in another country does play a factor in the dating game. I mean who wants to do long distance?? But I still have hope. A hope that one day I wont be cooking a dinner for one but for two and then maybe more.

Till then, I will continue to make my dinner for one because, a girl got to eat! 
 

My Week Without TV.....

This last week, TV and I had a break.
We (mainly me) decided that I needed sometime apart from him (yes I just made my TV male). TV did nothing wrong, but did everything right, but I still needed a break.

Why you ask?
Well, there are a few reasons that I wanted to take a break, but my reason was that I felt as though I was spending too much time on Hulu Plus, catching up on my American TV shows and I wanted to change that.

See sometimes living in another country can be exhausting. From learning and speaking another language, to figuring out how to pay bills or even what bus to take to get home can be hard. The little things that never bothered you in your home country (like driving), now seem like such a huge hurdle and so overwhelming. BUT yet by God's grace you were able to pay the bills, drive to the store and the lady at the register understood what you were asking. So it is easy at the end of the day to come home, and want to do something that is familiar to you. That is a little taste of home.

For me that is watching my American TV shows. For 42 min, I get to watch something that people back at home are watching or at least familiar with. I can Skype with friends and family and know that I can talk to them about what happened on Scandal, or that funny joke on that episode of The Mindy Project. (Yes I watch these shows, please don't judge my taste of TV) That when I already feel out of place and out of touch with the day to day things in America, I at least have my American TV shows to keep me current.

But what happens when your TV shows start becoming more important then God? Or more important then the relationship you need to continue to build? Now let me say that I no way think that the shows I watch are more important then God or the relationships that I am building here. BUT for some people this has become their reality. Escaping the hardships of life with a little or A LOT of TV.

So how did it go?
It was actually a lot easier then what I thought it would be. I didn't go through withdraws or cravings. Instead, I spent time hangout with friends, Skyping with people and reading. I notice that when I went to bed, I was more relaxed. My time with God was longer and not so rushed at night. Yes my nights seems LONGER, but that meant that I had more time to do other things.  At the end of the week, I was glad that I did it. It helped me to see that I need a balance in my life. That it is okay to watch TV shows and relax, but I also need to make sure that I make more time with God and friends.