Thursday, March 17, 2016

3 months later.....

It has been awhile since I have written a new blog post. I would love to tell you that it is because I am so busy with doing fun things and that life is good. But that would be a lie, well not all of it is a lie. Things are going, that is for sure. I am still amazed that we are half way through March. But I have come to realize, that even though I would like time to slow down so I can have more time to process and gather my thoughts, time just wont stop. It keeps moving forward and so must I.

So here I am 3 months into this reentry/transition process. In the last 3 months, I have moved into a house with 2 other awesome ladies, found a part time job, held my grandmother's hand for the last time and buried her a week later. I have cried, laughed, and felt loved by others. I have heard the Lord's voice speak encouragements to my heart and felt the Holy Spirit shower me with grace as I worship in the quietness of my home. I have reconnected with old friends and have made new ones. I seen the cruelty, selfishness and ugliness of people in the midst of pain but have also seen people cling to the hope of God and His promises in that time. I have felt overwhelmed by the many choices of cereal, yogurt, milk and soups. I currently crave homemade pizzas and tacos (taco trucks tacos) all the time. (I cant get enough!) But through it all, I have felt and seen God's hand the last 3 months.

I am learning everyday what it means to have grace with myself and with others during this season. Grace with myself and knowing that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, cry for no reason and ask questions, even if I might look dumb for asking them. Grace in not rushing this season of reentry and not being upset when certain worship songs make me cry still. Grace with others, because they have not experience the things that I have, so they dont get "tico time" or "cafecitos". Grace with people because you see I have changed, so people remember me before I moved, but they dont know the ME that came back. That has been the biggest challenged so far, learning who the new ME is and sharing that with others.

I am still in the midst of this season, and I am not sure how long I will be in it. BUT please continue to pray for me, ask me how I am doing and give me grace when I just dont have the energy to explain my thoughts or feelings.

till the next time,