Finding Joy in my suffering....

" He gives strength to the weary and to him who lacks might He increases power." 

Is 40: 30

This has been my verse for this last month (February)

Even as I write this blog and type out this verse, I am praying that God will continue to give me the strength that I need.

 My health hasnt been the best this last month. For over the last 3 weeks, I have been in such physical pain. Pain that I have never been in before. It started when I got a fungal virus at the beginning of the month. It became a rash that would itch as well as cause pain. It would keep me up at night, it would hurt as it rubbed against my clothes. It was just uncomfortable. So I went to the doctor. He gave me some anti-fungal pills and a cream to put on it. 

Perfect! I thought, just take these, put the cream on the spots twice a day and I am golden. But I was wrong. After I started taking the meds, I was having bad joint pains. EVERY part of my body hurt. It was a constant pain that never went away. I couldnt sleep because when I moved, the pain would wake me up. I soon realized that it was a side effect of taking the anti-fungal medication. 

So I pressed forward and continue to take them. Dreading it every time I took a pill, knowing that in 30 min, I would start to feel the pain. Pain that I didnt want to feel, pain that I was tired of feeling and would cause me to be exhausted.  

For me, when I am sick or not feeling well, I am just 10 times more emotional. I feel more stress out, feel more anxiety and I am more weary. And being here in a different country, I felt more insecure about EVERYTHING! There were days, that I didnt want to move or get out of bed. I just wanted to feel better. I was exhausted physically, mentally and was starting to get spiritually exhausted too.

I didnt want to get to the point were I would be spiritually exhausted, but with all honesty I just wanted to stay home, get better and then go back to work when I was 100%. But the reality of it, is that I couldnt do that and I didnt do that. So instead, I took this verse and proceed to quote it in my head every time I was in pain. I chose to focus on the promise that God will give me the strength that I needed. There were some days that were great and I felt like me again. Then there were some days that I would just go home and cry.

Through this process, I realized just how weak I am and how much I need God's strength. I need HIM everyday, even when I am feeling good or weak. I need HIM to strengthen my body, give me the endurance and remove any weariness or anxiety that I have. I need HIM to shower me daily with His protection here. 

I am done with my meds now and I know it will take a few days to get it all out of my system, but i am starting to feel like myself again. I still get some joint pain here and there, but I hope to be at 100% soon. 

YES February was not a good month, but there is always MARCH. 

And MARCH is my birthday month! And I pray that it will be a pain-free, sick free month for me. :) 

PS... 

Here is my address if you would like to send an encouraging card, a birthday card or pics! 

Rose Torres

 C/O Jeff Dixon 

Apartado 946-2400 

Desamparados, Costa Rica 

America Central